Death of a Dog + The Big Thing No One Told Me About Becoming a Mom

This was five years ago, in her elder years.

You can see that "quirky old dog" look in her eyes. I was pregnant and we took one last road trip together, just the two of us.

This was at Carmel Beach. Lusa was the best dog friend I ever knew. 

Ever fall in love with a dog -- and then fall more in love with that dog -- until its last heartbeat? I remember holding Lusa's furry body on July 7, 2013 as her heart stopped beating. The waterfall of grief that then spilled from my soul. My "little light girl" showed me love as masterfully as any human ever has, and I still miss her companionship.

Dogs don't seem to have forgotten how to love unconditionally. 

Last weekend I took my first two-night trip away from our daughter. I went to Lusa's grave, watered the fern planted for her, and poof! The next day, two purple flowers bloomed in her soil. Synchronistically I was wearing a purple tank top. Purple: the color of nobility. Just right for dogs. 

Three years into being a mom, some major lessons are landing. Here's a blog post I wrote: The Big Thing No One Told Me About Becoming a Mom. Know any pregnant mamas-to-be or first time moms? Be a sweetheart; share this with them.

And are you ready for this?! I've been a writer since I was 5 years old and this very well might be my favorite thing I have ever written. Writing quality? I dunno. Packed full of my heart's love for humanity? That's it. If Children Led the World, my piece in the current issue of Holistic Parenting Magazine. 

There you have it, some of my most passionate feelings and visions for this life. 'Tis and has always been a great pleasure to share my peeled-open heart with you and anyone else half as lovely.

I really do believe humans are exquisitely beautiful. Darts of otherworldly bliss and potency beam from our being. All of us. 

And the fact that we've forgotten this?  Our species' greatest tragedy. 

When we remember? Oh my... Aren't we just outlandishly divine!?!

That's what I live to remember. Each day, year after year. And I wonder if you are like me, and self-love, and self-care are most difficult part to master? As in, it's pretty darn easy to love other people, to shower affection and care toward those we treasure, but somehow, the one in the mirror gets the short end of the stick? 

Last year I decided that my ego is pretty insignificant. Its voice, for the most part, borrrrrrrring. So even if I have to lift myself up -- to recover to self-care, 10,000 times in this life instead of self-neglect in the areas I most struggle with -- I'LL DO IT. Again and again, recover. 

On that note, I'm happy to report that I've begun A Revolution in Self Care. More frisbee, more daily dancing, less stress at night, no screens at night, acupuncture and Chinese herbs, Ayurvedic wisdom, and healthier boundaries ad including a month-long Facebreak.

Seriously though, are we crazy addicted as a culture, to screens!? And bewilderingly unaware of it? From where I sit it's blinding.  

I'm becoming passionate about what I'm calling Screen-Free Travel. Earlier this month our family spent four nights in northern Oregon, away from internet, ("smart")-computer-phone reception and screens. Spectacular swimming hold pictured above, with rock art by my husband. ;) 

WOW it was nice. 

Our daughter could look around and see people playing guitars, reading books, sitting in wooden chairs actually looking at each other as they shared a conversation. It was... so... old fashioned. (Eek, scary!) And for four days and nights. I assert we need this kind of screen-break to stay sane. 

Coming soon on our blog, a post on Screen Free Travel and also one on Relational Travel. Because when you unplug the pressure-cork from your inner deep well of art, it sure springs mighty! And I am having a BLAST writing these days, after dreaming-up, with sooooo much ease, things that feel soooo good to write about. 

Also coming soon: a 5-piece interview series with masterful relationship coach Charles Zook, highlighting essential -- and culturally uncommon -- relationship wisdom. The videos will be free as a gesture of our love for humanity.