Figs and Freedom: the other side of addiction

on pleasure, Love and outsourcing

Now 2.5 years on the other side of food and sugar addiction, I feel free. 

Our outsourcings — the word I prefer for ‘addiction’ — are coping mechanisms for trauma. I cannot count the number of times I hid in my room or my car, alone, eating ice cream. My body will forever carry signs of that abuse I inflicted on her, when I just wasn’t ready for freedom. 

Ultimately all outsourcing is our unreadiness to accept the divine within us. Our Oneness with God.  Communion with Spirit is the only solution for pain — it is the glow of Love inside us. And it’s always available… isn’t that amazing!?!

Choosing freedom over shame doesn’t make us more lovable; it just makes us feel more free. 

Guilt was one of the energetic causes of my massive brain tumor. Since the tumor — who I named Fidela, as she was a friend who came to help me choose freedom — was removed in February 2021, I’ve only gone to “guilt land” with my eating choices a handful of times.

That’s OK. No shame; I’m in the human experience. 

What’s here now is pleasure.

As I bite into a fig or a masterfully baked pastry, we commune — essentially, we are in Love. Mindful, savoring, joyously intaking their texture and taste, I feel enlivened here. Guilt and freedom are very different human landscapes.