Let me be clear, this is not a post about how to have the most epic sex ever. To learn how to use your tongue or lips or fingertips so your lover is left in blissful disbelief, listen closely to their body, breath and words. This is about infusing your entire Life — far beyond the erotic realm — with Love. If this appeals, read on.
During this season of sexy dinner dates and bouquets of red roses, many of us are reflecting on our life’s landscape in the arena of Love — specifically the kind of Love that comes with romantic partnership and all things erotic.
Most of us are either somewhat or extremely unsatisfied.
A few of us are deeply satisfied, and I am grateful to be in this boat.
Many humans are lonely, heartbroken, or in a relationship that we’re tolerating because it feels too hard to leave.
But Love goes galaxies deeper than the romantic or sexual realms, and that’s where this question comes from: How does Love make Love?
Since I was 8 years old, Love has been my religion and these thoughts I’m sharing today aren’t ‘mine’ necessarily. They come through me, as someone who long ago gave myself over to the greatest superpower — Love — for it to ‘use’ me in service of itself.
So let’s ask Love how it makes Love.
Wanna hear something wild? We actually can’t have more Love. Every person on Earth, every second we’re alive, has all the Love we’d ever need. ✨
The catch?
We don’t see it.
We are blinded to it.
Our eyes are glazed.
So we don’t feel it.
And therefore it cannot seem to be our reality, so what we see instead is some composition of a life that appears as suboptimal, hungry, barren, less-than-Love-filled, lacking.
Pain only heals when its root cause is resolved. So what is the cause of our inability to see the fullness of Love’s existence in our own lives?
We have forgotten that...
Love is who we are. And when we forget that we actually are Love, everything we think, feel, say and do is impacted by that lost memory.
Picture yourself in a hurry to get to a meeting, you’re running late and now you can’t find your keys. Shit, you forgot where you put them. At that moment, you don’t climb in the bath tub to read a book. You scramble around asking, Where the heck did I put my keys? And until you find them, your heart rate’s sped-up, your breath is shallow, your attention is laser focused on finding your keys.
That’s what’s up on Earth right now.
We are scurrying around, swimming in anxiety, doom-scrolling and blaming something or someone outside of ourselves, for our problems. Pretending the answers are outside of ourselves: I need a drink! Or a smoke, or new shoes, or 45 minutes on social media looking for someone else to give me the answers… some sort of escape to take me away from accepting that the answers are inside of me.
We are acting like victims when we are actually co-creators, lovers, with The Divine.
We are busy projecting pictures of forgetting, from our own inner screenplays whose scripts are inherently miswritten. Collectively, we are so tired of lookin’ for Love in all the wrong places… 🎶
Love makes more Love by seeing through its own eyes.
By doing this, it projects a reality, a world, of more Love. Ultimately, when enough of us choose to see through clear eyes, the eyes of Love, we will see a very different reality than the one we see now.
People won’t be enslaved at work or for the color of their skin.
Transportation modalities will evolve beyond our current capacity to understand.
Mother Earth will be respected in ways we now only glimpse in small subcultures.
Women won’t run around altering their already perfect bodies and faces because we will accept that we were all born with inexplicable beauty.
Children and elders will be universally revered.
When we see through Love’s eyes, we make more Love. Hallmark cards, diamonds and bouquets of roses become unattractive because — when our pores and every inhale are kissed with the unparalleled embrace of Divinity, who needs those things?
If you are tired of looking for Love and ready to see, feel and actually experience it more in your life — ✨
1) Choose to accept that Love is who you are.
Bold . Simple. Decide to accept that Love is who you are. Write it down with your pen, on paper, to affirm your decision: Love is who I am. Simply choose. When your head starts to get in the way, tell it you love it and you’re making a decision and don’t need its input right now. For this one, your heart and soul are in the lead. Done? Done. ✔️
Now, let’s reframe the original question to make it more accessible. How do you, as the energy of Love, embodied, create more Love in your life?
2) Cultivate inner stillness.
Be still and decide to see it. Another slice of simple genius, far beyond what most people are currently willing to choose. Stop running around. Pull that “I’m so busy, my plate is so full” record off the record player. S-l-o-w d-o-w-n. Stop defaulting to check your cell phone. Be s-p-a-c-i-o-u-s, within yourself.
No encyclopedia or spiritual teacher can give it to you. The Source of all the Love you’d ever want to feel or know, is inside of you.
My current personal practice with this involves tuning my attention inwardly — from the habitual waterfall mode I’ve been in all my life, effusively expressing Love’s fierce delight with the passion of a Puerto Rican tiger — d-o-w-n into the golden pool of Divine Light in my core. 💫
Find a visualization, a simple daily practice, that works for you. This is something I work with coaching clients on; reach out about coaching if you want to step-up your game with one-on-one support.
Globally respected spiritual teacher and author Eckhart Tolle teaches, “The power of manifestation comes out of the space of awareness. The more you connect to the depths of who you are, the more empowered you become.”
Connection with your deeper self, the nature of your being {Love} cannot occur in hurry. It is born in Being.
Mindful. ✨
Spacious. ✨
Presence. ✨
3) Have a rigorous relationship with the truth.
Your truth. Live with unparalleled authenticity. Eventually, as you keep telling more truth, at the bottom of it all, you’ll see — only Love. You came here, into this life, this body, at this time, to be one-of-a-kind you. Trying to live someone else’s truth will never bring you freedom.
In my entire life, nothing has more noticeably and powerfully impacted the beauty, joy and depth I experience, than this. Love makes Love by connecting with itself.
Over the years when I see friends stock up on food for their pantry in case of utter disaster, somehow my gut hasn’t felt pulled to do that. While they may be honoring their truth by stocking up on food, my truth is different. Instead, I’ve felt called to feed closer relations with people growing and selling real, good food, roasting their own coffee, people whose names I know, who actively weave our community with Love, thereby building resilience. Sequoia trees got this memo long ago. I’m not saying “I’m right, this is the way” — Love speaks through each of us beyond the land of “right and wrong” — I simply share this as one way I’ve chosen to live my truth, a tiny human life echo of the wisdom embodied by Sequoia trees.
Breathe, speak, embody and tell your truth millisecond after millisecond. Not necessarily running around screaming, “I really like the color of your car!” or “We actually are the United States of America, we are not Divided!” but — by far most importantly — living and telling your truth to yourself. In your journal, in your human relationships, while you make coffee and wash your face.
Those are the top three ways to infuse your existence with Love’s delectable splendor.
I’ve been writing about Love all my life, and I’m utterly delighted that it’s now being honored openly so often, with the latest huge glaring exhibit appearing at the Super Bowl. What!? Love on that stage!? At last. “The only thing more powerful than hate is Love,” read the billboard at the end of Benito Bad Bunny‘s halftime performance.
Again, to heal pain, a problem, let’s look for its cause.
What is the cause of hatred for others?
Hatred of the self.
When we want to heal a thumb with its tip chopped off — yes, I did that last weekend, cutting garlic for breakfast — we look for the cause of the injury and intend to prevent it from reoccurring. The cause? Lack of presence. I wasn’t paying attention as my thumb snuggled up against the garlic clove, underneath the knife’s sharp blade. Clearly I needed another reminder to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and be present. 😮💨
To heal hatred, we must look for its cause.
Deeply seated fear is the cause of hatred. Fear that we’re separate from each other and The Divine. Love’s illuminated eyes cannot see a reality into being, that contains hatred. Wherever we are unwilling to forgive — and yes, forgiveness was Yeshua’s greatest teaching — we make a home for hatred in ourselves.
Connect one dot to the next and that’s what’s up today on Earth, we have let fear’s trajectory dominate our human experience, so we are now seeing the face of fear globally, peeking and staring through our days.
Fear has surfaced to be healed with the only thing that can heal it: Love. And that is who you are. The most impactful choice you can make today, to make the world a better place, is to be the Love you are.
I stand beside Bad Bunny, who passionately invited us all, gazing intently into the camera’s eyes to invite the collective to: Believe in yourself.
How does Love make Love?
It simply is.
Remembering itself, it simply exists, in acceptance of itself.
This is a choice you make when you’re ready to see through Love’s eyes, ready to let the projections you see as your ‘reality’ transform into something more beautiful. More Love-filled. More of a match for who you really are.
It’s nice to have you here,
🩵
Jessica Rios
P.S. Before I go, I’ll take a moment to honor the romantic, the erotic, the intimate partnership realm. ❤️🔥 On Valentine’s Day and every day, I shake my head in awe of what is possible here, giving thanks for the man who entered my life last year. Anyone who doubts that an epic romantic partnership is possible, listen: It’s possible to find someone who meets you, sees you, delights in you, deeply respects you, challenges and grow you gracefully. Here are two inspiring quotes from spiritual and psychedelic artist Alex Grey.
“When we first fall in love we can be amazed with how perfect the beloved is for us, the answer to our prayer. The beloved can become a portal to the infinite because love is infinite and the beloved is the Sacred Mirror that shares this Divine energy. With the beloved, we step outside the safety of our own skin and open our heart to communicate soul to soul. This ultimate overlapping of souls comes from a deep compassion and respect for the other while celebrating the synchronistic journey that brought you together. The path of love is the supreme gift of the cosmos. Dr. Albert Hofmann called the experience of love ‘the highest transmutation of sunlight’.”
“A relationship succeeds when obstacles are met with communication and resolution. A relationship flourishes when we take the beloved as our teacher. Shared goals create a transformative, interwoven path.”
