How Pain Turns into Medicine

surprise surprise... Love is the answer

These are grievous times. Despair is aflame for humanity. Rates of depression, addiction and suicide are unbearably high.

Yet in one sense, these times are no different than any other — we have a choice as to how we respond — the choice is either Love or fear.

The choice for Love gives freedom.

The choice for fear imprisons.

How do I know?

I’ve found freedom I never dreamt was possible after 46 years of struggling with addiction to food and sugar. Outsourcing my need for comfort, sweetness and pleasure, trying to fill an inner wound by overeating and being intimate with a highly addictive substance that’s called “a treat” in the USA — sugar — yet it’s actually poison.

My addiction led to chronic pain so severe that I was eventually led to surrender, face the unknown and recognize that the pain was actually a gift.

Summer 2021, keeled over on the corner of my bed because all I could do was breathe through the severe sciatica that visited my lower back and leg for 92 days.

When pain surfaces in you, its presence is a sign that you are ready to heal fear — at the root, not just cover up the symptoms.

You too can choose to see your pain as a gift.

Here is where freedom lives.
You don’t have to wait until
the pain gets worse,
pounds harder,
knocks louder.

Wanna use the power of music to let that sink in a bit? Here is a stunningly beautiful song by Colin Hay, Waiting for My Real Life to Begin. (It’s his birthday today!) With his intoxicatingly gorgeous voice, he sings, “On a clear day, I can see… see for a long way.”

Don’t wait to for your ‘real life’ to begin.

Don’t wait to feel the freedom that is your birthright.
Befriend your pain.
Help it move through you
instead of making your body its forever home.

Now thriving after an agonizingly painful decade, I invite you to—

Be grateful for pain’s visit.
Ask it, “What did you come to tell me?”

Simply, decide:
I will greet this pain with Love.

Nothing else can fully heal it.

I didn’t like walnuts until one day, in the middle of a pandemic with an inflammatory virus swirling around, I learned they are anti-inflammatory. Now they are a favorite snack. Raw, organic revelry.

The freedom that awaits you on the other side of this simple choice — not easy, but simple — is true freedom. You can genuinely and wholeheartedly come to a place where you see your pain and fear as a gift.

When I meet someone new and they learn about the massive brain tumor I once had, they often say, “Oh I’m so sorry.”

And there’s no part of me that feels those words are relevant. Yes, they are coming from a place of compassion. I see that.

And yes, it was hard.
Really, astoundingly difficult.

Still, as I tell them, “Actually, the tumor was a gift in disguise. I named her Fidela. Without her I never would’ve chosen to feel this good.”

Or if they wince when they hear I had a 92-day visitor called sciatica, one of the most painful things a human body can feel, I sometimes say, “Well, it gave me empathy. Really… deep… empathy… for human pain.”

Or, “It taught me to never think twice about asking for help.” In pain like that, there is no hesitation.

For 92 days, I couldn’t tie my own shoes. Bending the back would pinch the sciatic nerve and — NOPE. My daughter was 8 years old here, tying Mama’s sneakers.

Thank you, pain.
Thank you, divorce.
Thank you, heartbreak.
Thank you, stolen suitcase.
Thank you, breakup I was
afraid to initiate.
Thank you, stomach ache.
Thank you, loneliness.
Thank you, trauma.

To all the pain in the world, we wish you upon nobody and we acknowledge that when you surface—

You are an invitation to see and feel more love.

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In closing, here’s a little plug. I do not advertise. I prefer a word-of-mouth world, so here we go. As a Love Coach, I serve clients who are ready to use the great superpower called Love to move through the fertile portal presented by pain and fear.

If you know someone facing Life-threatening disease or another kind of significant pain, who might be ready to lean in, thank you for sending them my way. Here’s some info on my coaching services.

What?

You want another glorious song to allure you to choose Love for your unbelievably precious body and soul? Here’s one that flips my lid in the most illuminating way: Love is the Answer by Kenna Childs.

The biggest hug to you, your pain and your joy~
Jessica Rios
Writer + Performer + Coach

P.S. In the last two weeks, I’ve fallen madly in love — with pilates! Three weeks ago I tried a class for the first time at BodyRok Petaluma and I’m hooked. Today marked 11 days into a 30-day stretch. The studio is celebrating PRIDE Month, so today I wore my rainbow earrings and snapped a photo with my amazing instructor, Nichole.