I Am Woman. I adorn.
Today is my 49th birthday, and I am here to high-five Womanhood.
Whether you are two years old or 92, Happy International Women’s Day!
I am grateful to be one of you.
Being 49 means I've been blessed to live and breathe a lot more days than I’d lived at 29 or 39. The scar on my chin shows how I lived through a bike crash that broke my jaw in three places, and still have all my teeth. My skull’s bump beside my left eye shows how it healed after being cut open during 9-hour brain surgery. The wrinkles around my eyes and my less-than-taut skin show that I love me how I am, choosing self-acceptance rather than wanting to ‘fix’ something that isn’t broken, just to be like social media tries to sell me to be.
Don’t bother telling me I don't look 49 — those words won’t flatter me — 49 is marvelous. Weathering ferocious storms of pain and grief with grace has enabled me to powerfully show up for others today in a way I couldn't do back then.
Being female is one of my greatest fortunes.
What's there to love about being a woman?
Having a close circle of girlfriends who were never told “girls don't cry”. Humans cry, and it feels really good to move our feelings through the heart and out the eyes.
I am river. I bleed. I birth. And I adorn.
Since college I've been bringing girlfriends together for circles — rituals of reveling and giving thanks. When I invite women into a circle, I request that they adorn their bodies in a way that helps them to feel the vibrant deliciousness of our bodies. When they walk into my home for a circle, I see them wearing dresses, scarves, jewelry, whatever it is for each one… that they tend not to wear in most settings. Girlfriend circles are emotively rich, playful and divinely lit-up, as we witness each other’s pain, stroke each other's hair and revel in each other’s inner — lasting, essential — and outer — temporary, seasonal — beauty.
We dress up together! Ohhhh how I revel in this.
Adorning myself as I move toward a gathering where I will feel seen and celebrated. Welcoming girlfriends to be seen in a safe space whose eyes don’t consider her cleavage or hair most important — but the fullness of who she is, how she shows up in the world, what she stands, lives and speaks for.
In a world with so many forms of addiction — or outsourcing, as I like to call it, where we seek to find peace, freedom, Love through alcohol, cigarettes and cane sugar, or screen time, opiates, shopping and the latest guru —
There are endless ways to run from the Light within.
That is where Light lives.
Leaning into Light. Not leaning out for a third martini or another pair of shoes to cushion the self loathing that can never buy enough. Loneliness cannot be healed by more time on the screen.
Women are often belittled around what we wear, treated as if we are more worthy of Love when we look a certain way. The real power of this dynamic lies, once again, within. A woman can play into the myth that our beauty is outside of us, on our surface, or we can revel in the true beauty of who we are, which streams from within.
For our daughters. For ourselves. For all of Life — because when women thrive, Life does too.
Think of a time when you were walking down the street aglow, grateful for Life's generosity and brimming with divine light in your smile and eyes. You got attention, smiles from drivers passing by, because people want that. They want that inner glow. They wonder, why is she so happy?
In 2013 when I birthed my daughter, it hit me like a velvet lightning rod. I can do this!?
Whoah. I remember feeling, I will never again tolerate being put down, condescended, seen as inferior, for being Woman. It is simply magnificent to be Her.
In February 2021 during my near death experience in brain surgery, the word “revel” echoed from inside of me, guiding me to commit to fully, authentically revel in this Life while I am living it. To live artistically, in a way that sometimes leaves people feeling uncomfortable.
So be it — our truest art makes waves. Expressing it takes courage.
We are not here to please the sleeping masses. We are here to live our fullest unique expression.
Tonight I’ll convene with a circle of women to celebrate my birthday and International Women’s Day. We will adorn ourselves and celebrate each other in whatever colors, textures, shapes and fits we want.
We won’t be trying to impress. We will simply be reveling in our own innate perfection.
Joining together with women, adorning ourselves and each other in Love, feels magic.