Preventing Heart Decay

PDA Puts the Universe in Bloom

Nov 17, 2025

Some people scowl at the sight of public displays of affection. Two people kissing, hugging for more than two seconds, or sitting on a park bench in an embrace. “Get a room!” they say. As for me, I’m a big fan. Here’s why.

When I was a kid, my aunt Irma used to pinch my cheeks. “¡Tan linda!” she would shriek, which meant, “So cute!” Sometimes her pinches hurt, but she meant well. What I felt through her touch was that she loved me so much that she found it almost irresistible to reach out and express it with emphatic touch.

What more could we want in life, than to feel completely loved? Tell me. What more?

It seems I’ve inherited my own joy of physical affection from Aunt Irma. I must acknowledge that by receiving brave and honest feedback in my adulthood, I have refined my ability to perceive other people’s comfort levels with PDA, and to adjust my expression of it based on how ready they are to receive it.

Still, when we feel so clearly the big dose of beauty bestowed upon souls through our own loving touch, it can’t be withheld.

Our hearts want to feel fed, their bold love outwardly and inwardly shed, not to decay as we hold back the love we feel — and are.

As a little girl, I remember feeling the beauty exchanged between my namesake, Maxine, and her piano keys in her San Anselmo home. Her hands so gracefully greeted those keys, and with song after song, her joy filled my soul with Light. There she was, leaning into Light. I had no idea that, more than 30 years later, I would name my business after this exquisitely divine dance — the dance between human and instrument, delicate hands and long, slender keys — soul songs intermingling through touch and sound.

In college, I experienced a romance where PDA was impossible to suppress. We threw frisbee on our campus’ fields and sat holding each other afterward, seated in the grass.

We weren’t indecent; we were in love.

Sure, some people simply aren’t touchy. Others reserve it for connections deemed special. For people who were sexually abused as children, receiving physical affection can be understandably difficult. Stories, traumas, gentleness, joy… the human experience spectrum is vast. Healing trauma takes time. And, it’s possible.

As long as we respect people’s preferences and readiness, paying attention to what works and doesn’t work for each other, adjusting when we receive feedback, isn’t PDA is a wonderful thing?

It is.

Numerous studies have shown the healing effects of touch in hospital settings, for newborns and cancer patients alike.

A gentle hand placed on someone’s arm as they lay in hospice, can help them feel their final breaths in peace.

And as evidence of how much more advanced dogs are, than humans, with the art of forgiveness, even dogs who’ve been physically abused will often feebly approach their unkind human companion, hoping to be held in loving arms. Hyper-tuned to energies, it feels like dogs think, If only humans would let themselves feel as deeply and fully as we do. If only they’d rush around less and massage our bellies more. If only they would let themselves show Love more often.

Touch helps us remember our oneness.

By showing our love to each other in public, verbally and physically, we grow a more loving world — in the wide open, fresh air, I’m-not-hiding way. In meetings, on social media streams, on the downtown sidewalk.

The air chokes around us when we suppress the joy we feel for each other.

And just as a child watching Sesame Street shines from the inside-out when Ernie says, “You’re a good friend, Bert,” adults shine when we let our love show too. ✨🫀✨

Thanks for reading Leaning into Light! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Familiar? That was my very first blog post (edited today), originally published 3/3/2015 with the title Why PDA Puts the Universe in Bloom. Ten years later, I still find that — it does.

I’ll close with three bite-sized, big Love jewels, because the most impactful thing you can do to make the world, and your life, a more beautiful place, is to love yourself. The more skillful you are at loving you, the more skillful you are at loving others. Add it all up and that’s a far more loving world than the one we’re seeing on ‘the news’ today, one choice at a time. Here are three BITE SIZED, BIG LOVE gems (for $5, $8, $12) to light-up your life or — as a gift — the life of someone you treasure. ✨🌾

First up ~

Befriending Fear is a 1-page guide for writing a letter to your pain, with a 2-minute intro video from me, a prolific lifelong letter writer who survived 5+ years of chronic pain and a near death experience. Your pain is a gift in disguise — a messenger that came to help you deepen your self-awareness and connect to your passion. As written by Anaïs Nin, “The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.” Use this $5 guide to befriend and embrace your pain with wisdom from Making Love to Fear.

Next up… What’s your vision?

What She Sees is my 1-page guide for crafting or refining your vision, with a 2-minute intro video, for $8. Ready to engage your fuller intelligence and illuminate the beauty in your life? Take it from Helen Keller, who said, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” Find this little gem here.

Finally,

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