When I was a kid, I liked Halloween. Yet for decades now, it’s grossed me out. Excessive plastic and sugar consumption, porches decorated with scary-bloody-gaudiness, single-use costumes stuffing the landfills… bleh. No thanks. It wasn’t death that bothered me; it was waste and drama-gore.
Death was actually something I found quite intriguing.
As a kid, I noticed people’s hearts would open, soften, when they lost a loved one. I wondered, Why can’t our hearts be wide open all the time?
When my uncle Cheo died in my early 20s, I loved crying my heart out. Losing him helped me feel and release canyons of sadness my heart had felt about the state of the world, as a teenager.
Walking through cemeteries is a pastime. On a visit to Portland, Oregon, a friend and I walked through a maze of graves and I remember its calming effect, even after we’d just downed lattes.
In my mid-30s, right before presenting to an executive client at a major hospital, I would go into the nearest bathroom and do squats to ground my nervous system, and listen for Code Blue alarms to help me feel calm. I would think, Someone is taking their last breaths… I have nothing to be nervous about.
Around the time I turned 40, my annoyance was quickly swept aside when I realized my favorite holiday was Día de los Muertos. Bold colored dresses and tapestries, bursting orange marigolds, candles on altars, oh my.
It was a moment of surrender. Something in me wanted to die: my unconscious choice to feel annoyed.
We don’t all need to like the same foods or holidays; diversity is what makes nature beautiful, and human nature is no exception. Yet staying irritated, annoyed or otherwise upset is something we can change our minds about, and frankly, humanity could use a huge dose of surrender right now. Who’s got a banner we can hang across the next full moon? It says,
It feels good to feel good.
Surrender feels good. And when we trust and truly let go, it can open doorways to unexpected beauty.
Surrender is a power-tool in the human box of treasures. Like other bits of genius, it is utterly simple and liberating. One at a time, let’s choose to let go of that which holds us back.
What wants to be surrendered by you right now? Is it…
a mind that’s closed to new ways of seeing and thinking?
a relationship with a friend or lover, that’s just not a match? If you regularly walk away feeling unmet, unseen or unappreciated, it may be time to let go, or
a tendency to blame other people for your unhappiness?
an unhealthy habit that leaves you feeling unlovable?
a job that doesn’t use your talents well, let alone your unique genius?
your unreadiness to be completely loved, most importantly, by yourself?
Happy Day of the Living, today.
We are blessed to be alive.
with Love,
♥️ Jessica
@makinglovetofear
Our next dance-a-luma is a tribute to what wants to die. Join me, ladies, next Friday October 17th! We will gather in a barn at the farm where I get produce, and let our bodies help us release the past, the plugged-up, the persistently pesky, the poisonous — anything that no longer serves us. Find details & tickets here.
What if 2026 felt like the first year you ever made love to your own precious life?
Save-the-date for the next Making Love to Life FOUNDATIONS masterclass, a 6-week online journey for women in community. We meet Wed 1/7 thru Wed 2/11, from 11:30am-12pm Pacific. Registration opens 10/20/25.
Think of the best romance you’ve ever had or dreamed of. What if your whole life was infused with that kind of delicacy?
It’s literally dreamy. Often I find myself shaking my head with a feeling of… How is this real? or This is unbelievable. It brings me great joy to share this path with other women, so together, we bring about a world woven with more Love than fear.
