The Confident Light of a Woman
her ways come from a deeper, inner well
It was 1996. I was at a college party with the usual dynamics at play. Youngsters flirting and flaunting goofy theatrical dance moves, getting into conversations deeper and looser than those that happen sober.
The hotness factor was high, hormones ripe and bodies ready. We were 20-something adults from Marin and Southern California, living in Chico for an education and to party, because — socialization, y’know?
My two housemates at the time were San Diego beach-born and -raised, pretty girls who were full of extroverted spice. One of them had mentioned a girl named Piper before, saying she didn’t really like her.
I had learned in high school that it was unwise to like or dislike others because of what someone else said. I hadn’t met Piper yet.
And then she came shining.
At first, I didn’t know who I was seeing. What I saw was a young woman whose confidence totally lit up the room.
Her humor wasn’t the kind used for distraction or avoidance.
Her words weren’t used to impress anyone else.
Her ways came from a deeper well.
Hers was the kind of confidence other girls wanted, not the temporary boost gained from mascara or a fresh tan.
I was stopped. I fell in love. Her soul captivated me.
My respect for her ways led me to aim within myself for more deep confidence, too. Her name was Piper.
Twenty-two years later, she remains one of my closest friends. Our friendship has ebbed and flowed as great ones do, and through it all she has remained a shining ray of rooted woman confidence that comes from deep within herself, tapped into the divine.
Through my 13-month postpartum depression, with all its riveting questions and despair, it was Piper who helped me realize that I parent by instinct. Beyond attachment parenting, mothers can honor our instincts — ancient, clear and piercingly beautiful — and this was the way I was meant to mother.
Accepting this gave me freedom I didn’t find anywhere else.
I was fortunate to have a lighthouse to look to. In Piper’s confident claiming of her authentic parenting style, I found mine.
Being witness to this kind of confidence in a woman during my 20s gave me a renewed sense of what is possible for women. Five years ago when I gave birth, a strike of lightning reaffirmed this possibility.
When women wake up to our own power, astonishing beauty unfolds.
Our power lies in no one else’s hands.
If I could magically show every teenage or 10-year-old girl what it’s like to feel deep inner confidence like I’ve seen in Piper, I’d wave my magic wand fast.
On this day, her birthday, I bow to the inner light in my friend Piper. It is this light that fills her deep well of confidence. And I bow to this in every woman who chooses to lead from her power within.
If you have a woman friend like this, call her now to express your admiration and support! She is actively creating a world in which women are valued. Imagine that.
Happy Birthday, Piper. Your willingness to open to the divine and let it lead your life makes my head and my hips shake with wonder. I love you past the soft rolling hills of Denmark and into the furthest peppery galaxies!
Originally published October 3 2018, this piece is a nod to my passion for the power of Woman. In the book I’m writing, Making Love to Fear, I am dedicating a chapter to exploring this topic in greater depth — for the sake of supporting the rebirth of women, rising to own our power. My working title for this chapter is Where does her beauty live?
When women thrive, life blooms.
Join me in celebration of International Women’s Day, March 8th 2025 for Making Love to Fear! On that day, which is also my 50th birthday, I will perform my one-woman-show 45 minutes north of San Francisco in Petaluma, California. Tickets are available now. This show will sell out! And it’s rated PG-13 (wink), in case you were wondering.
This illustration is a reflection of my own rebirth as a woman, after my 2021 near death experience (NDE) during brain surgery. It reflects the feeling my NDE gave — best described as soaring in a stream divine stars.
Take care of you~
Jessica Rios
Writer + Performer + Love Coach
