Three Little Lovedates
the book, the show and fathers
Sunrise is beginning its blast outside my window and I hear Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds singing in my head. It’s as if the three little birds are announcing the three little updates I’m sharing today, which seem more appropriately named lovedates since, after all, love’s what it’s all about around here.
I’m happy to share that I am 1/3 of the way through writing my book, Making Love to Fear. This serene view of sunrise is from the weekend retreat spot where I ‘ran away’ to focus on it.
Here’s a little peek into my process!
During one of yesterday’s writing blocks, I broke down the meaning of ‘making love’ — not through the eyes of an emotionally and spiritually primitive culture but through the eyes of… love.
When the book title came to me last year, I felt its meaning in my body — womb and bones. Yet actually putting it into words is a different thing. I’m having fun!
The choice to face fear with the power of love is not easy.
It can require tremendous courage, and I’ve been working really intensely to embody the book’s teachings so that I can write with a deeply felt sense.
Yet as with any muscle, the more we use it, the stronger it gets.
Last Wednesday I hopped on stage at my town’s West Side Stories event and I won 2nd place! It’s a locally treasured monthly gathering where 10 people get on stage to tell a 5-minute story at our beloved Polly Klaas Theater.
Though I am a performer, it had been 15 years since I actually got on stage. I don’t consider myself a storyteller — I’m much more interested in hearing about energies and feelings than the ‘he-said, she-said, they-did and then-this-happened’ story-form details of life in the human experience.
The reason I wanted to participate was to start warming up to the big stage adventure of March 2025, when I’ll perform my one-woman-show, Making Love to Fear on International Women’s Day, which is also my 50th birthday. Subscribe to my newsletter to hear about presale tickets, coming soon. This show will sell out!
A giant soothing exhale held me the morning after my story telling gig.
Winning 2nd place wasn’t the highlight. Hands down, the great win was being celebrated for telling the message of how love heals pain and fear. ‘Twas cause for dancing celebration with a girlfriend the next night!
My nod to fathers today comes in the form of this short note to my own amazing dad.
Dear Dad,
In my lifetime, I’ve written you hundreds and hundreds of letters. Here’s another.
Thank you for being someone we can count on. Your three children, your grandkids, your siblings all struck gold with you making us feel like we really matter, and making endless jokes.
You could complain but you don’t. Your body is 80 years old and that ‘aint much fun. This hurts, that hurts, sleep doesn’t happen the way you’d like it to. Yet somehow you know that complaining won’t help and you’d rather spend your attention being productive — so you crack another joke.
I have thanked you 10,000 times for all the love you’ve shown me. Most of all today, I want you to know that I’m certain your parents admire you from the grave. You never cease to visit them with flowers, to acknowledge the imprints of their doing-their-best, and to rise every day to live up to their names.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
I love you~
Jessica
For a longer read on fatherhood, here’s a piece called Being There from Jeff Krasno of Commune. He writes about how his daughter knows he will always be there when she comes back home, “This ever-presence provides her with the ballast from which she can take risk, knowing that, in failure, she has the pillow of my unconditional love to soften her fall.” Hear Jeff’s lovely voice by listening to this piece on Spotify.
Wishing all the dads
endless hugs and laughter
all year long~
Jessica Rios
Writer + Performer + Love Coach
IG + TikTok: @makinglovetofear