You Told Me How to Love you
here comes the uncomfortable truth
Last month, I sent a poll asking how you wanted to be loved through my writing. Your top vote was for “how to heal pain and fear.” Next was a tie between “ways to remember the Love I am” and “delightful uplifting goofy stories.” Last was “tips for writing powerful letters.”
Thanks for voting! Every day is Love Day around here, and your input helps me feel clear as I write this newsletter every week.
I heard you. Yet you might not like what I am about to tell you — and it’s the straight-up truth, so I won’t withhold it. Ready?
Be brave and tell more truth.
Yep. It’s actually the simplest things that are the toughest for humans to fully embrace. Not just some of us — most of us.
Healing pain and fear requires significant courage. It requires that we courageously tell the truth about our pain, not run from it or pretend it doesn’t exist.
Just ask me in 2017, when I wasn’t yet aware that a massive brain tumor was growing in my head. Even though I ‘knew’ my migraines were my body’s way of trying to get my attention, pleading with me to stop seeking comfort through ice cream and cookies, I wasn’t yet brave enough to listen. Instead, I kept overeating.
Truth doesn’t wait. It doesn’t live in this thing we call the future.
When we withhold it from ourselves, we simply prolong our suffering and let the pain fester within us. Eventually, when our pain and fear have tried to get our attention yet don’t feel heard, some form of disease manifests — in our bodies, our hearts, our minds.
Where to begin, with brave truth telling to start the healing path?
The easiest thing you can do is write in your journal about it. With a pen, before you go to bed, tell the whole damn truth about your pain or fear. Act like you are its best friend.
Listen to it.
Tell it you actually care.
Ask what it is here to tell you.
Fake it ‘til you make it, if you must.
Then go to bed and see what shows up in your dreams.
Wake up and write that down.
Wait. How does fake it ‘til you make it qualify as truthfulness? Because your true self—
The essential part of your being is Love, and it wants freedom for you. Only part of you, the part that’s based in fear, however persistent it might feel, wants to stay stuck.
Pain and fear are simply energy — just like everything else. Only Love heals fear. And Love and truth are nothing short of superpowers.
If you believe you’ve got this, you do. Stay the course. If you believe in you, then I do, too.
Ever since my Near-death experience (NDE) during brain surgery on February 16, 2021, I do not compromise with putting myself first. Only when I radically love myself, can I then radically love others.
So today I’ll close with an uncensored celebration of my Rebirth Day. Tomorrow marks four years into what I call my second life!
As the leader of Masterclasses in Making Love to Fear, how do I continue to sharpen my skills in that area?
I love the living daylights out of me.
I get out of my head as often as humanly possible.
How? By moving my body often, in ways that feel really damn good. This is by far the quickest and most effective way to tell my fear that I honor it, and yet it doesn’t get to rule my Life. And when I move my body — robustly, so my legs, lungs and heartbeat feel rigorously well used — it is easier for me to see what my fear is here to tell me.
With 40+ years of not being my body’s best friend now over, I don’t see joyful exercise as a luxury. It is mandatory. Morning hikes, afternoon Pilates, dance at least once a week. My work hours are more productive when I take breaks to revive my body and soul.
The delectable cherry on top?
When I feel the bliss of wellness in my body, I am much more willing to be brave. Dancing feels better. Hiking feels better. Sex feels better. Relationships, eating and breathing feel better. Fear dissolves more quickly when I love this bodily temple I’m living in for awhile.
Want a better life? Move your body.
Your body is a masterpiece and it is your job to see it and treat it that way.
A closing note for the shes and hers! And others who see how much unleashed, direly needed power lives within us. (A lot.) Hope to see you at my show in three weeks, on International Women’s Day! You’ll find more info and links to buy tickets here.
Happy Rebirth day 🎂🥳❤️